Is Adam Sandler Another Celebrity Weirdo for Bringing His Own Ezekiel Bread to Restaurants?
Every year in households across America, thousands of Jews honor the eight days of Hanukkah by listening to Adam Sandler’s hit song about the holiday that he premiered one crazy December night almost 30 years ago. The Sandman himself celebrates the season by making line cooks prepare his meals using bread from the Nevi’im.
The entertainment world is famously rife with unusual dietary restrictions. For instance, Kendall Jenner allegedly drinks 12 cups of detox tea everyday, and The Smiths singer Morrissey reportedly refuses to eat “anything with flavor” — though that might just be to maintain his exceptional ennui. As such, the already stressful jobs of high-society restaurant line cooks are often made even more exasperating by the extraordinary demands of VIP patrons who insist that their entrée must only be cooked in walnut oil, or that their salad should consist of a single parsnip, raw and rolled in saffron.
Word getting out that an A-lister is a grade-A pain in the ass to food service workers can ruin that celebrity’s public image — imagine how upsetting James Corden’s restaurant ban must have been for his fan — which made me worry when I saw a post about Sandler at the top of the Kitchen Confidential subreddit, a massive online forum for those in the restaurant industry to swap stories and memes. User Large_Desk_4193 claims to have cooked for the SNL legend, saying that the Sandman brought in an entire pack of Ezekiel Bread English muffins with which they were asked to prepare his food.
So, is Sandler an obnoxious celebrity weirdo, or are the rest of us fools for trusting the sprouted grains of strangers?
“What’s so special about the bread, also did he bring Kevin James along like he always does?” one user wondered, to which another answered, “No but Rob Schneider is outside waiting for the scraps like a good boy.”
For those outside the know, Ezekiel Bread is a brand of specially-made sprouted grain products that follows a hallowed recipe passed down by God himself in the Book of Ezekiel from the Hebrew and Christian Bibles. Even among non-Abrahamic bread-buyers, the brand is popular for its fantastic nutritional value and distinguished digestibility. But, yes, most importantly, Ezekiel Bread products are kosher — but not to be eaten during Passover, of course.
Critically, because Ezekiel Bread doesn’t use any artificial preservatives, its shelf-life is minuscule, so its muffins, wraps and loaves must be eaten as soon as possible or tossed in the freezer immediately upon purchase. For that reason, Sandler’s decision to bring his own bread to an establishment that probably hands their own out for free is thrifty and conscientious. With grocery prices where they are right now, even Adam Sandler can’t let food go to waste.
Naturally, the post raises other questions, for instance, “What could he have possibly ordered that would necessitate an earthy English muffin?” And: “Medium filet and beef tartare? Can’t Adam Sandler make up his mind?” But, on a scale from ordering off the menu like a normal person and demanding that each broccoli floret have exactly eight branches and weigh two-thirds of an ounce, Sandler’s peculiar dining habits sit on the benign end of the spectrum.
Then again, the picture obscures the rest of the order, so we could be missing an important part of the story. For all we know, Sandler specified that the cook should use the muffins to make mini pizzas — with pineapple.
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