“I don’t ever see myself the way other people see me,” Megan Fox told Sports Illustrated

Kimberlee Speakman is a digital writer at PEOPLE. She has been working at PEOPLE since 2022. Her work has previously appeared in Forbes and she has also worked in broadcast television as a reporter for Hawaii-based news station KHON2 News.

Megan Fox attends the 65th GRAMMY Awards

PHOTO: KEVIN MAZUR/GETTY IMAGES

Megan Fox is getting candid about how she sees herself.

The Johnny & Clyde actress, 37, who celebrates her birthday on Tuesday, revealed in a video for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2023 issue that she still struggles with viewing her body in a positive light.

“I have body dysmorphia — I don’t ever see myself the way other people see me,” Fox said. “There’s never a point in my life where I loved my body, never, ever.”

“When I was little, that was an obsession I had of, like, but I should look this way,” the actress explained. “And why I had an awareness of my body that young I’m not sure, and it definitely wasn’t environmental because I grew up in a very religious environment where bodies weren’t even acknowledged.”

“The journey of loving myself is going to be never-ending, I think,” Fox continued.

megan fox

GREG SWALES/SPORTS ILLUSTRATED

The actress, who wore a swimsuit of gold coins and an intricate body chain for the magazine special, is one of four cover stars of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit‘s 2023 issue, along with Martha Stewart, Kim Petras and Brooks Nader.

“Shooting Sports Illustrated Swimsuit is definitely a lot of pressure,” the mom of three told the outlet. “I have a vision in my head that I’m trying to achieve, so we’ll see if it pans out for me.”

“What I most want people to know is that I’m a genuine soul who is hoping to actually belong to something and not always have to live as a misunderstood outcast,” added Fox, who is engaged to musician Machine Gun Kelly, 33.

Fox first revealed she suffered from body dysmorphia and had “a lot of deep insecurities” in an October 2021 interview with British GQ Style.

“We may look at somebody and think, ‘That person’s so beautiful. Their life must be so easy.’ They most likely don’t feel that way about themselves,” she said.

Body dysmorphia is described as a mental health disorder in which a person can’t stop thinking about a perceived defect or flaw in their appearance, according to the Mayo Clinic. The disorder can cause anxiety and distress, making it difficult to function in social situations and daily life.

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Fox did not detail the ways in which body dysmorphic disorder affects her, but she has discussed other mental health issues in the past, saying she nearly reached a “breaking point” after the 2009 release of Jennifer’s Body because she found herself constantly being sexualized in films and media.

“It wasn’t just that movie, it was every day of my life, all the time, with every project I worked on and every producer I worked with,” Fox said at the time.

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.