Photo: Matt Petit (Getty Images)

This is a story about how Next’s Too Close, the Blackest public grinding song of the ‘90s, made a comeback and showcased how the lack of talent doesn’t frighten white folks from the dance floor.

Let me lay it down for you: You see, Academy Award winners Mahershala Ali and Julia Roberts are part of the recently released, critically acclaimed Leave the World Behind movie on Netflix. It’s an ominous end-of-the-world thriller (produced by Barack and Michelle Obama), so you’ll forgive us if two seconds into a dance scene between Ali and Roberts we mistook the movie for a comedy.

It’s also the scene where it becomes clear Roberts’ Oscar is not for her moves.

In fact, what the entire f— is Roberts doing? It’s the question of the week on social media:

On TikTok, littlelady_22 posts a clip of the scene with the caption: “And the Acting award goes to Mahershala for keeping a straight face watching Julia Roberts trying to dance.”

Coach Peaches commented on littlelady_22’s post: “she’s giving me Elaine from Seinfeld vibes and drake” while Jabrielle said, “I kept screaming, ‘catch the beat, Julia!’”

TikTok creator nidia_s23 said, “This movie was creepy and weird but Julia trying to get down scared the crap out of me.”

On Facebook, Matt Neteru commented on Strong Black Lead’s post about the dance party, “I don’t know what she was listening too but it wasn’t too close that’s for sure.”

Gerrard Kaonga was a little more generous in his review on Unilad, writing, “her moves … need a bit of work.”

Roberts told MTV that she asked director Sam Esmail to change the song, 1990s groove “Too Close” by Next. “Sam and I are very good friends, and we agree on almost everything, except that song, and I asked him to change it so many times,” she said. “No offense to the talented blokes, but I asked him so many times because I was so embarrassed at the beginning of that song and Mahershala Ali is standing there, all eight-and-a-half feet tall of him.”

Esmail defended his choice of “Too Close” in an interview with The Direct. “That moment in the film needed to feel very grounded and very silly, and I felt that the song kind of allowed those two characters to cut loose in a way that maybe a more familiar or popular song wouldn’t have,” he said. “And come on, their dance moves just really complimented the lyrics.”

In an interview with Collider, Roberts admitted there was lots of rehearsal for that scene. That does make a kind of sense. White girl dance moves from the ’80s are probably what we’d choose to get through the apocalypse. Or alcohol. Same-same.