Brynn Whitfield revealed she became “asexual for months” after being sexually assaulted at 34 years old by someone who was “courting” her.

“It wasn’t in my brain that that happened to 30-year-old woman living in Manhattan,” she recalled to People about the shock of the harrowing situation in an interview published Tuesday.

In addition to becoming asexual following the assault, the “Real Housewives of New York City” star, 37, told People she felt “numb” and like she couldn’t wash the disgust away.

Brynn Whitfield
Brynn Whitfield revealed she was sexually assaulted when she was 34 years old in an interview with People published Tuesday.Instagram

Brynn Whitfield
She said she was “asexual for months” following the assault and felt “numb.”brynn_whitfield/Instagram
“You just go home, and you just shower, and you just want to pretend like it didn’t happen,” she tearfully explained.

“I think my water bill probably that month was like $10,000 … and just there’s not enough soap in the world [to get clean]… You try not to put chlorine in your luxurious bathtub.”

Whitfield said she became a “shell” of herself after not telling anyone about the assault for months and isolating herself from her loved ones.

Brynn Whitfield
The “Real Housewives of New York City” star said she was shocked that sexual assault happened to women in their 30s.GC Images

Brynn Whitfield
She told people she blamed herself.GC Images
“I was hyper-efficient at work, but I didn’t smile, I didn’t laugh, I didn’t bat an eyelash. I didn’t do anything. I blamed myself,” she remembered.

“I was like, ‘How am I 34-years-old and dealing with this now?’ If you told me I had a chronic illness or something, I would’ve believed that. I just didn’t believe that it happened and it was hard.”

She began her healing process by slowly informing those closest to her about what she went through and seeking therapy.

Whitfield said that although the entire experience was painful, she feels it has opened her up in a way she never had been before.

Brynn Whitfield
Whitfield said she avoided telling those around her for months and became a “shell” of herself.Gregory Pace/Shutterstock

Brynn Whitfield
She eventually began speaking about what happened to her and went to therapy.Cindy Ord/Bravo via Getty Images
She did not identify her assailant but said he is a high figure in the New York City social scene who she still sees at parties from time to time.

“I put on a brave face and I refuse to cause a scene. I don’t like loudness,” she noted. “I don’t like screaming or yelling because of my childhood.”

“I pick up the check and I sign. That’s what I do. That’s that.”

Brynn Whitfield
The marketing consultant said she is opening up about her story now in case it helps others.Instagram/brynn_whitfield

Brynn Whitfield
She did not reveal the identity of her abuser but said she still sees him at NYC parties.Instagram/brynn_whitfield
The Bravolebity — who recently opened up to Page Six about her fashion struggles — noted that she feels comfortable enough to verbalize her difficult past to encourage others who may be going through or have gone through something similar.

“If I can help one person feel something, feel how I felt, if I can help one person feel better, then I’ll tattoo it on me. Then it’s worth it, a billion percent,” she said.